and the opposite...

No more symphony in Springs.
I wanted it initially (this summer).
But now I don't. I'm over my musician stage. Time to move on.
I want music to be in my life - always. But I need to be diverse. I can't concentrate myself on one subject, especially when I know it's not what I want I want to be my main focus in college or later on in life.

It's not easy for me to do something I don't want to. I can do it, certainly, but I won't enjoy it. A big part of my love for music comes from my enjoyment of it. I use music as an escape, even with the hard work involved . With the Springs symphony I was not looking forward to it being an escape. I was running away from it. That's not what I want music to do to me. I couldn't sleep through the night for two weeks while trying to decide whether to join or not. That's a bad sign.

Pressure released.